Welcome to the February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners!
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month we’re writing about how a co-parent has or has not supported us in our dedication to natural parenting. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
We’ve been doing a lot of things differently with the third baby. I don’t know if it’s because I am home full time or because I’m more confident in my parenting skills or because I know more about Natural Parenting now than I did five, or even three, years ago. Probably a combination of these, plus my new dedication to putting my kids before all else.
At first, my husband was skeptical of some of the “new” approaches (which are in actuality very old). But I wasn’t giving in and insisted we at least try cloth diapers, bedsharing and (for the older two) the Time-In method. Once he saw how easy and effective they all were, he was sold.
He was most skeptical about the diapers. But I was no more interested in folding and pinning than he was, so I forked out the big bucks for one-size all-in-ones. These things are awesome. Not only are they just like disposables as far as ease of use, but they grow with the baby. Serieses of snaps make them adjust to fit teeny weenies like our Ellie all the way through potty-trainers. I haven’t tried using them on Connor because we just don’t have enough of them for it to be worth it but, in theory, I could. Ellie even wears them at night with no leakage. Once Mark saw how easy this was — that they weren‘t “George of the Jungle loincloths — he made no complaint about using them. He says he’s still questions whether all the water used to wash them makes them less green and economical. I’ve told him it is, but he’s not quite sold. As long as he uses them, I don’t really care if he is.
I decided to have Ellie in our bed after reading an issue of Mothering that was devoted almost solely to bedsharing and co-sleeping. The arguments for it made sense to me. After our bedtime issues with Grace, the one I was most interested in was that bedsharing makes sleep/bed more appealing to babies so it’s not a scary thing/place and once it’s time to sleep alone, they’ll do so without fuss. It took Mark a few weeks to adjust to it. He said he couldn’t sleep well because he was worried about rolling over onto her and because her grunts and rooting noises woke him up. I just asked him what he thinks of it now after two months of part-time bedsharing, funny enough, he says it allows him to sleep MORE because if she cries, it takes me only seconds to calm her. He still is a bit nervous about harm somehow coming to her, especially because he doesn’t always know when she’s in our bed because she often starts the night in her bassinet and comes to bed at the first feeding.
He wasn’t skeptical about the Time-In method so much as he wasn’t sure we’d stick to it. But we’ve really made an effort to do so. We both find times that it just doesn’t work and the kids are defiant and we do need to use a time-out. But I’ve see many times were Mark starts saying something and then amends it to conform to the Act/Ask/Attend/Amend tools.
On a side note, while talking to Mark about this blog post, he said that these days, I treat him as a co-parent and less as another dependent. I’m not sure what to make of that. Maybe he has just finally grown up. *wink*
If you want to know more about what Natural Parenting entails, check out the explanation at the bottom of this post. If you have questions about our thoughts on any other Natural Parenting principles/practices, feel free to ask in the comments or by e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
- A Thank You to my Husband — Lactating Girl at The Adventures of Lactating Girl thanks her husband for keeping her grounded and giving her unwavering support in the face of discouragement from within and without. (@lactatinggirl)
- My Reverse Traditional Husband In the Wild — Paige at Baby Dust Diaries gives us a lesson on how dads in the wild parent their young. Can you guess which male animal actually nurses its young? (@babydust)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting — TopHat at The Bee in Your Bonnet tells us how the patience of a partner can make a difficult breastfeeding relationship succeed. (@TopHat8855)
- Parenting Together — For Alison at BluebirdMama and her husband, parenting is simply an extension of the way they live. (@childbearing)
- If We Had A MIllion Dollars — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! and her husband would both agree to be crunchier parents if they had a million dollars to ease the way. (@bfmom)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Co-Parents — Dionna at Code Name: Mama has written a letter to her husband, thanking him for his incredible support in every aspect of their natural parenting journey. (@CodeNameMama)
- Natural Parenting Fathers — Sarah at Natural Parenting is balancing being all there for her son with being present for her husband. (@considereden)
- Just Wonderful: Love and Partners and Natural Parenting — Zoey at Good Goog let her husband lead her to babywearing and cosleeping. (@zoeyspeak)
- All that stuff I don’t get comes so easy to him — The Grumbles is taking this opportunity to say thank you to her husband for his mad parenting skills. (@thegrumbles)
- The Power of Having a Supportive Co-Parent — Chrystal at Happy Mothering and her husband started with vaccinations and moved on from there. (@HappyMothering)
- February Carnival of Natural Parenting: Love and partners — Lauren at Hobo Mama makes do with babbling incoherently about how her husband practices natural parenting in such an effortless fashion, with bonus video. (@Hobo_Mama)
- Love and Partners — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog shares her husband’s moving account of her birth story, and his testament to the power of a woman. (@myzerowaste)
- labor support… — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children is thankful that her partner has provided her immeasurable labor support through each of their last three unassisted homebirths (and will again for their upcoming fourth!).
- What co-parent? On prams, routines, ideals, sickness, and finding my way alone. — Ruth at Look Left of the Pleiades describes life without a present co-parent: making new choices and taking care of things herself. (@brightravenmum)
- Parenting With Support — How many people can say that their husband talked them into cloth diapering? Darcel at The Mahogany Way can! (@MahoganyWayMama)
- Co-Parenting Support — Summer at Mama2Mama Tips knows the importance of being supported in the face of criticism. (@mama2mamatips)
- Natural Parenting Carnival: Love and Partners — pchanner at A Mom’s Fresh Start has been blessed with an incredibly involved partner. Her husband loves to take part in every aspect of parenting! (@pchanner)
- Daddy’s Little Girls — Kate Wicker at Momopoly finds her husband right at home in a tangle of girls. (@Momopoly)
- How do I love my parenting partner? Let me count the ways. — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker is thankful that she and her partner co-parent fluidly and gracefully. (@mamamilkers)
- Interview with a Daddy — NavelgazingBajan brings us a highly amusing peek into her husband’s perspective.
- Being Supported in Natural Parenting — Sarah at OneStarryNight has witnessed both ends of the parenting spectrum, and is grateful she found a father who is comfortable with natural parenting. (@starrymom)
- Moments in time: a love letter — Arwyn at Raising My Boychick will make you cry with the beautiful way she describes the complete relationship between father and child. (@RaisingBoychick)
- Natural parenting converts — Jen at Recovering Procrastinator brought her reluctant husband around to cloth diapers, bed sharing, and time-ins as a discipline method. (@jenwestpfahl)
- Breastfeeding Father — Amber Strocel at Strocel.com describes how her husband helped her overcome the breastfeeding challenges she encountered with her premature daughter. (@AmberStrocel)
- A Natural Parenting Village — Acacia from Art, Body & Soul, in a guest post for Jamie at Suddenly Stay at Home, broadens the term “coparents” to embrace supportive extended family on both sides. (@SuddnlyStyAtHme)
- A Natural Dad — Shana at Tales of Minor Interest doesn’t have a husband who merely supports her — she has a husband just as dedicated to natural parenting as she is.
- Love and Support From My (sometimes pantsless) Man — Joni Rae at Tales of a Kitchen Witch Momma describes life with the sometimes bumbling but always lovable Pantsless Man. (@kitchenwitch)
- G-O-T-E-A-M! — Jessica at This Is Worthwhile made sure her future husband agreed with her parenting choices early in their dating. (@tisworthwhile)
- how we come to parenthood — Michelle at womanseekingmother dances with her husband around the subject of cosleeping. (@seekingmother)